Throwback Tuesday #4: Tucker's Revenge, Part 4

Don't remember what Throwback Tuesday is, or you missed a previous part? I made a new page on the blog for it—just check out the 'My Stories' tab!

“Wally!”  The officer exclaimed.  “What is going on here?”

Mr. Tucker stood and brushed himself off.  He pointed a shaky finger at Reuben, Simeon and Levi.

“Officer Kelly, these-these brutes accused me of child abuse and these two-” he pointed to Reuben and Levi- “forced me into the alley, and attacked me!  I insist that you arrest these men!”

The officer turned to the Abbott brothers.  “Well men, what do you have to say for yourselves?”

(There's going to be a lot of revising since I changed it and they don't end up fighting in an alley, sooo bear with me.)

Rewrite: The sheriff stepped into the room, boots heavy on the wooden floor. "Everything all right, Tucker?"

    Tucker stepped forward in a burst of sudden courage. "Sheriff, I demand that you arrest these men."

    The sheriff raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. "Why would I do that?"

    "Because they threatened me and are a general danger to the public; that's why!"

    The sheriff turned to Jamie's brothers. "Is this true?"

    Everyone started talking at once. "No—" "That's completely—" "I wouldn't say—" "Of course they—"

    "All right, hold it." The sheriff's voice boomed over everyone's, and he held up his hands in a calming gesture. "This is a bad place to hold this conversation. Everyone, come down to my office and let's get this straightened out—no, Tucker, I've heard your side of the story. You stay here and keep out of trouble, will you?"

Jamie stepped forward.  “Please sir, my my brothers were just trying to protect me.  Isn’t that right, Simeon?” She said, turning to her brother.

“Officer, my name is Simeon Abbott; I’m sure you have heard of me?”

Officer Kelly nodded.  “Sure.  You’re that sheriff from Rawlins.  Never did care much for small-town sheriffs,” he muttered this last part to himself, but Jamie heard it.

    As soon as they stepped into the sheriff's office, Jamie leapt forward. "Please, Sheriff, my brothers were just trying to protect me. Simeon here—he's a sheriff, too, you know, and he wouldn't do anything to—"

    "Thank you, Jamie, I can introduce myself," Simeon interrupted gently. He turned to the sheriff and stuck out a hand. "Simeon Abbott. I think we've met before."

    The sheriff shook Simeon's hand and nodded in acknowledgement. "I recognized you; I just didn't want to make more of a scene in front of Tucker. I'm Sheriff Kelly. You're from Rawlins, right?"

Simeon explained, “When my sister, Jamie here, and I walked into the store, Mr. Tucker was beating a young boy.  When my Jamie tried to stop him, he would have hit her as well, had I not intervened.”

Officer Kelly turned toward Mr. Tucker.  “Wally, is this true?”  He asked.

Mr. Tucker paled.  “N-no!  Of course not!  This man is just trying to use his power as a sheriff to get out of trouble!”

(Soooooo many exclamation points)

    Simeon nodded. "My sister and I—" he motioned to Jamie "—walked into his store, and he was beating that boy. Jamie tried to stop him, and he would've beat her as well, had I not intervened." He glanced around the office. "Hey, where is the boy, anyway?"

“Who started the fight, Mr. Abbott?”  The officer asked, turning toward Levi.

“Well, uh-”

“I did,”  Reuben interrupted.  “Somebody had to teach Mr. Tucker a lesson!”

“I see... and what are your names?”  

“My name’s Reuben.  And this is Levi.”  Reuben motioned to his brother as he spoke.  “We run the Abbott Ranch.”

“Ah, yes.  The Triple A is one of the biggest ranches in California.  And the sad thing is, the ‘respectful’ owners of the big ranch are going to spend the night in jail.  Wally, you aren’t hurt too badly, I hope?”

Tucker shook his head.  “I’m fine.”  He turned to the Abbotts.  “You’re lucky I’m not pressing charges for assaulting me!”

The officer handcuffed Reuben and Levi.  After hesitating, he handcuffed Simeon  

Jamie clung to Reuben’s arm, tears in her eyes.  “Don’t take them away!  Please!  They have to take me to our sister’s house!”  She cried.

“I’m sorry, Miss.  Wally, please see to it that this girl gets to her sister’s house.”  The officer tipped his hat, turned, and led Jamie’s brothers out of the alley and out of sight.

Mr. Tucker brushed his hands together and turned told Jamie and the boy.

The boy stepped between Jamie and Mr. Tucker. 

“You’re not going to touch a hair on her!”  He exclaimed.  “She saved my skin from you, and even though I can’t repay her by getting her brothers back, I can keep you from harming her!  You think you own the world.  But I think the world would be a better place without the likes of you!”

Mr. Tucker stepped toward the boy, red with rage.  “Boy, you’ve just dug yourself a hole.  I’m gonna-” suddenly he screamed with pain, then crashed to the ground, unconscious.

(mmkay, yeah, at this point I'm just gonna completely change the rest...'cause, well, it needs it)

    Sheriff Kelly grunted and dropped into the swiveling chair behind his desk, motioning the others to take seats as well. "I know the boy. He's been at odds with Tucker ever since he started working with him, and this isn't the first run-in Tucker's had with strangers." He eyed Jamie. "But you'd better let someone bigger and stronger than yourself take him on, young lady."

    Jamie's frowned in indignation, yet she knew he was right. She nodded and studied his face as he continued talking with her brothers. His broad shoulders immediately gave him the air of authority that all sheriffs needed, and his dark eyes hid his thoughts from anyone looking at them.

    He suddenly turned to meet her gaze, and raised an eyebrow. "Is there something you'd like to say, Miss Abbott?" His mouth quirked underneath his thick mustache. 

    Jamie's ears burned at being caught staring. "N-no," she stammered. "No sir." She ripped her gaze away from the middle-aged man and stared around his office. Wanted posters hardly made for attractive decor, but what else was she to expect in a sheriff's office? She turned her attention back to the conversation.

    "I'd recommend staying away from Tucker's place," Sheriff Kelly was saying.

    Reuben nodded. "Don't worry about us; I think we've had enough of that place."

Anyone else in the habit of completely changing the course of entire scenes when rewriting? Heh...