Have I forgotten about this series? No! It's time for the second installment (do I have a title for this series yet? No. No, I do not.), and today the topic is something y'all know is close to my heart. I'm pleased (see? still trying to avoid the 'I'm so excited' line) to hand the stage over to Victoria Penning! Victoria is a sweetheart with a whole lot of spunk that graciously agreed to write a guest post on a subject that is so sensitive for a lot of people.
Why? Because I struggled with my own depression and suicidal thoughts and I love to share about it with people now that I have overcome my own struggles.
A little more in-depth about me, I’m nineteen, I come from a large, Christian, homeschool family, and yes, I struggled with depression. That was something that not many people understood.
“You haven’t had a rough life. You have a great family. You’ve lived a sheltered life. What do you have to be depressed about?”
Well, I won’t go into all the details because that’s not really what this post is for, but this is a very common thing for Christian homeschoolers who struggle with depression.
1) My BIGGEST piece of advice for writing a character who deals with depression is: life doesn’t suddenly get better after the climax. Life isn’t all sunshine and roses for that character after they see the light or are saved. They aren’t suddenly healed and everything is great.
Nuh uh. It comes and goes in waves. And one thing that comes along in the package of depression is the voice inside the head. That little voice that gives sugared up and painted over lies, making them seem so real that we end believing them. That never just “goes away”. It takes so. Much. TIME.
So, tip #1: don’t make your character suddenly “get better”.
2) When you have depression, but are around people who don’t understand why, you learn how to fake a smile and laugh suuuper well. A best friend might be able to pick up something if the mask slips a little bit, but most of the time if that person who is struggling doesn’t want other people to know, no one will know. I’m not kidding. For example:
Your character is in a group setting and is feeling kind of down, maybe playing with the straw in their drink. Someone says something to them and a smile quickly lights their face, knowing they have to look happy as they talk with them.
Try something different. Anyone could look over and see this friend looking kind of down and ask if they’re okay. While that really is great, and I wish it was that easy, if your character really doesn’t want people to know, something like this might happen:
Carly laughed at her friend's story, wiping tears from her eyes and biting her lips together in an attempt to trap the giggles as a waiter approached the table. She could feel her face turning red with the suppressed laughter.
Sounds totally normal when you’re with a best friend, right? But then continue it.
Carly closed the door of her bathroom, the silence finally surrounding her and digging its fingernails into her brain. The smile slipped from her face and exhaustion flooded her soul. Her throat clogged, the suppressed tears begging to be released. The familiar weight settled on her shoulders and all of the voices crept back into her mind.
Carly could be totally fine with friends, but when she gets home and is alone, the joy of being with people fades and the crushing weight returns with way too much joy.
So, tip #2: Depression can be easily hidden.
So, tip #3: the inner thought process of your character is super important to know, and they need to have situations in their past or even present that fuel their wrong decision of how they don’t deserve life.
All of this has been pretty depressing sounding. (Hm, I wonder why, Vic). Now, here’s my last piece of advice, although this is more a personal story.
I struggled with all of this. Every single thing that you have read here, I have drawn from my own personal experiences. Yes, I went through all of this. I contemplated suicide so many times, and almost went through with it one time.
BUT!
But God sent along this incredible friend that I met awkwardly. I never imagined that we would become best friends, or that this person would so effectively make my walls crumble. I told this friend everything. Still do, and this friend is the reason why I am still alive. This one person saw through my masks and made me feel like I honestly come and talk to them.
If you want to save your character, put them through a heck of a rough life, and then give them that one person who saw something that no one else did. Because that’s often how life works. There’s just one person who might notice something that no one else will. And that can save your character’s life.
I hope you enjoyed this little peek into my life, I hope that this helps you write your character with depression, and if you are struggling and don’t have that one person yet, come find me. I will be that one person for you. Or even if you’re struggling with writing your character, send me questions! I am not shy or sensitive about this topic at all and love to answer questions!
Lastly, thank you to Kaitlyn for giving me this opportunity to share what I’m passionate about. She’s an incredible human being!
<3 <3 <3
ReplyDelete