Throwback Tuesday #3: Tucker's Revenge, Part 3

I'm getting really bad at keeping consistent with these, aren't I? *winces* When I came up with the idea for these posts, I wasn't actually considering that it...uh...took so much writing. AKA time. *cough* Anyway. Here we are, part three of Tucker's Revenge!

(Don't remember what the story is about, or you have no clue what Throwback Tuesday is? Here's part 1!)

Also, please note that I'm not trying to fix historical inaccuracies; simply rewriting the old stuff. ;)

Original will be in this font, and rewrites in the normal font!

“You’re going to what, Mr. Tucker?”  Simeon asked in a low tone.  “I think that even you would be gentlemanly enough to know not to whip a young boy; much less a girl!”

“Sheriff Abbott!  This is no concern of yours... that is, you wouldn’t let a boy get away with being clumsy, would you?  And as for this girl, she was trying to prevent me from giving this boy the punishment that he has so long deserved!  He gets paid for working here, not for breaking  and spilling things!”  Mr. Tucker sputtered.

(Mmkay, Simeon's out of his jurisdiction. He ain't gonna be known as sheriff here)

Rewrite: "You're going to what, Mr. Tucker?" Simeon's voice was dangerously low. "I would think that a man of your stature would know enough not to beat a young boy senseless, much less a girl."

    Mr. Tucker reddened, and his eyes flashed. "This is no concern of yours. The boy was clumsy, and someone needs to teach him better." He stepped forward, between Simeon and the boy, still grasping Jamie's arm. "And where the girl is concerned, she was trying to prevent me from giving the boy his just punishment." He forced a chuckle. "What's he here for, but to work—not break things?"

“Yes, I would say that it’s my concern, and I believe my brothers would love to teach you a thing or two about being a gentleman, especially for trying to harm our sister.  In fact, I see them crossing the street over here to meet us.”

    Simeon's eyebrow raised, and Jamie swallowed. She'd never seen him look so...deadly.

    "Yes, I'd say that it's my concern," he growled. "If you don't let go of my sister right now, so help me—" he broke off and took a deep breath, then started again. "My brothers are going to be here any minute, and we would love to teach you a thing or two about being a gentleman."

Mr. Tucker immediately let go of Jamie.  “I-I didn’t know she’s you sister, Mr. Abbott!  Here.  See, there’s not a scratch on her!  I don’t want any trouble.  There’s no reason to get upset.”

Just then, Reuben and Levi walked into the store.

    Mr. Tucker's face blanched and he immediately released his grip on Jamie. "I-I didn't know she was your kin, mister—honest! See? Right as rain, not a scratch on her. Let's be reasonable; all's well that ends well. There's no reason to get up—" he was interrupted when the store's front door opened.

“Well, Levi, this city is a little too citified for me,” Reuben said as he slapped his hand down on his younger brother’s shoulder. “Let’s get our little sister and-”  He stopped in mid-sentence when he saw the scene at the back of the store.

“What happened here?”  Asked Reuben.

“Nothing we can’t handle,” replied Simeon.  “The question is, how do we handle it?”  He asked, turning back to Mr. Tucker.

(all the dialogue tags—*gag*)

    Reuben stepped into the room, heaving a sigh. "I don't know about you, Levi, but I've had about enough city for one day." He slapped his brother's shoulder. "Let's get Jamie and get—" he stopped mid-sentence, door standing wide open, when he caught sight of the scene at the back of the store. "What happened here?"

    Simeon turned to Reuben, then back to Tucker. "Do you want to explain, or shall I?" When the man only glared, he continued. "Seems our friend Tucker here isn't against beating children—even girls." Jamie could see his face reddening even as he spoke.

“You-you can’t hold anything against me!  I-I didn’t do anything wrong!  Just ask this kid; he knows that he needed a little discipline!”  He pulled the boy, who had been watching quietly in the background, by his side.

    Tucker's mouth opened and closed several times before he managed to form words. "I—you—we—you can't hold anything against me. I didn't do anything wrong; just ask this kid!" He pulled the boy, until now watching silently in the background, to his side. "He needed a little discipline."

Levi turned toward Simeon.  “From what I figure by reading between the lines, this man here-” he motioned toward Mr. Tucker- “Was beating the boy for a reason I don’t know, and our sister-- being the kind-hearted, caring soul that she is-- decided to interfere.

“When she did, this man grabbed her with raging fury, starting to beat her as well, and that’s when you decided to do something about it.  Am I correct, big brother?”

    Levi raised an eyebrow. "So if I've got it straight, this man—" he motioned toward Tucker "—was beating the boy for some reason or other, and our sister—being the kind-hearted, caring soul that she is—decided to interfere?" When he received a nod of affirmation, he went on, "And when she did, he grabbed her and threatened her too. So you stepped in. How'm I doing so far?"

Simeon grinned. “Yep, that’s about it.  Mr. Tucker needs a little discipline himself, don’t you think?”

Reuben, who had been miraculously quiet, turned to Mr. Tucker, his face red with anger, his eyes shooting sparks.

“Mr. Tucker, I’d like to teach you a thing or two!  Beating an innocent child!  I have a few names for you, but there’s a lady present.  Let’s go behind the store and fight it out, man to man!”

(okay, I know I said I wasn't going to cringe when I did this, but *wheezes* I'm dying over here, folks)

    Still not taking his eyes off Tucker, as if afraid that he'd vanish if given the opportunity, Simeon nodded. "That's about it. Reckon he needs some discipline himself?"

    Up until this point, Reuben had been surprisingly silent. He stepped forward, until his nose was mere inches away from Tucker's face. "Mr. Tucker," he said, voice low and controlled, "If I ever—ever—hear of you laying your hands on my sister again, or anyone else smaller than yourself, I will personally come and put you out of business. Permanently. Do you understand me?"

Simeon grabbed his brother’s arm.  “Reuben, don’t do something you’ll regret-”

But Reuben just shook Simeon’s hand off and pushed Mr. Tucker out the back exit of the store.  Everyone followed.

The first punch was delivered by Reuben, who ducked when Mr. Tucker swung, and punched Tucker in the stomach.  Levi joined in.

Jamie cringed every time one of her brothers got punched, but they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

At last, when the men seemed to be on their last legs, a police officer walked into the alley.

(this whole...fight thing...seems kinda out of place and dramatized. Out of character even. Time to change it up a bit)

    Sweat beaded on Tucker's forehead, and he nodded rapidly, strands of his thin hair flopping onto his forehead. He raised a shaking finger to point at the door and lifted his chin, as if salvaging his last bit of dignity. "The door, gentlemen." The last word came out in a pitiful squeak.

    "With pleasure." Levi glanced around the store with a look of disgust, then turned to exit the building when the doorway was filled with a broad-shouldered figure.

    The tin star pinned to his chest glinted in the sunlight.

This was actually kinda fun! Do you enjoy rewriting your old stories?